


What If **HIATUS indefinitely**

by LuWrites



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel (Comics), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1940s, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Family Drama, Marvel 616/MCU Crossover, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Has Issues, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Psychological Drama, REALLY slow, Rating May Change, Slow Burn, Teenage Drama, The Rogers, The Starks - Freeform, Translation till chapter 13, Work In Progress, agonizing slow, the barnes, too much drama
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-07-10 22:27:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15958865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuWrites/pseuds/LuWrites
Summary: What happened to Natasha to make her have so much red in her ledger?How did she became The Black Widow?Why she thinks love is for children?But before the Red Room, before the Black Widow and all the blood in her hands. Before everything else she was just Natalia... Steve and Bucky's Nat.





	1. Life Changes

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [What If](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/416852) by LulysMarvelete (Me). 



> Hi there :)
> 
> So apparently my brain went crazy and I had this urge to translate my story and publish it here... 
> 
> Like a kind of test to see who else could like it.
> 
> This story is totally mine. I publish it in a site from my country, I'm just translating it to publish it here.
> 
> And as I put in the tags, this story will be set before all the MCU movies but I intend to eventually go through all the movies while throwing a bit of the comic canon in it.
> 
> I love Nat’s story in the comics and I’m constantly frustrated with the fact MCU hadn’t explore it properly yet -.- ~also the lack of Romanogers or WinterWidow canon
> 
> So I decided to explore it myself mixing the two universes with my crazy imagination :D
> 
> Sorry the awful summary!
> 
> I hope the story is better!

  

 

**1935**

 

Natalia Alianovna Romanova was sitting on the floor of the harbor in Moscow, USSR, waiting for the ship that would take her to the United States of America. With nothing else to do while waiting, the small 14 years old girl was lost in her thoughts and memories which were too painful and always made her feel even more numb and lost than she already was.

Her life in the USSR wasn’t a paradise due Stalin’s government and the fact her father was part of one of the remnants groups from the anti-communist White Movement. She and her parents – Alianovich Volkov and Eleni Romanova – lived in an excluded part of Stalingrad where most of the anti-communism lived. To put it lightly, her childhood there wasn’t easy.

Despise all the problems her family faced every day, Natalia grew up surrounded by love and happiness. But everything changed when the Red Army stormed into the small villa to cause terror burning houses and killing people; Natalia parents among the victims. Only 12 years old at the time, she had to watch everything that happened to her parents tied to a chair.

She watched her father be tortured for information while her mother cried and screamed for them to stop and when her father didn’t gave them anything, the both of them had to watch the woman of their lives be raped and beaten. When she was picked violently by one of the men, her parents were unconscious but still alive.

Natalia screamed and kicked trying to escape and go back to her parents but stopped to fight in the moment her house was set on fire. The little girl never thought she would prefer death instead of life, but when she was dragged all the way to Moscow and thrown in an orphanage, she wished she had died along her parents.

She spent two years in the orphanage in the hands of the communists who used any kind of method to force their ideology on the children. If Natalia wasn’t her father’s daughter she would have follow their ideals just like many of the orphans. Then one day she received the news that her father young sister, Irina Volkova, a woman she heard of only a few times, had become her guardian and wanted her in a ship to the USA as soon as possible.

Of course, Natalia refused to accept it at first. She felt angry with the woman for allowing her to spend so much time suffering in that place but when she was forced to speak with the woman on the telephone, she changed her mind really fast when Irina told her about discovering about her brother’s dead in the past month. She explained to her how difficult it was to gain her guardianship and prepare all the necessary documents to move Natalia to the USA.

Thankfully, everything went right in the end and Natalia was free to get out of the orphanage and the country. So here she was waiting for a ship that would take her far away from all the horrors of her life; sitting on the floor with only a small backpack with her few belongings. A loud noise startled her and when she looked to the side, she saw a huge ship getting closer to the harbor.

Natalia got up from the floor and looked mesmerized to the ship, she had never seen one before outside the television. They waited a few more minutes until the ship docked and they were allowed to embark. After all the process of embarking, the man finally indicated to Natalia to go inside the ship, but the little red haired girl hesitated.

She thought of all the plans her parents made for them, about the bright beautiful future they wanted for her and all the things she wished to realize to make them proud of her, all of it now buried away from her reach.

\- Is there a problem, miss? – An American soldier asked her in an awful Russian.

She only shook her head in response and stepped inside the ship. Natalia walked through the ship observing everything around her until she found the cabin she would have to stay for the next days. When the ship was finally departing, she realized that the other people that should be sharing the cabin with her wouldn’t arrive anymore and she was very relived with the prospect of so much privacy in her travel.

Natalia spent the next days locked in her cabin, tough she was curious to see outside, to see the ship navigating through the ocean and meet new people she preferred to stay inside thinking about her life. Half her backpack was packed with food, not enough to last the whole travel, but after so much time in the orphanage, she had learned the hard way to survive with the minimum.

The worst party of the trip was the nightmares. Most of the nights she dreamed with her parents screaming, their blood spilling on the floor, the burning flash of their broken bodies. Every night when she dared to close her eyes, she saw with clarity all the things done to her parents and how her house burned to the ground with them inside.

Once more, she woke up startled by a very bad dream in which she suffered the same things her parents suffered, feeling her skin peeling off of her in the end. Natalia sits on the mattress not caring to how much uncomfortable it is nor the fact her aunt didn’t had the money to buy a better ticket; she rarely cared about something these days.

Natalia was always too busy drowning in her pain and the growing emptiness inside her to care about anything else. She raised her hand to get a hold of her necklace; the necklace her parents gave to her in her first year anniversary was more than ever the only palpable memory she had of them.

The red haired girl watched the sunrise through the small round window of the cabin; when she was about to get lost again in her thoughts she saw it. The Statue of Liberty. And that was all she needed to put her thoughts in the back of her mind, quickly pack her things and get out of the cabin, almost running to the deck to see the arrival of the ship in New York City. Natalia kept holding her necklace while watching the lady with the torch and the city getting closer and closer, every foreigner looking with wide eyes of admiration and hope.

The feeling was so strong around her that it was almost impossible for her not to feel affected by it too. Not matter what she had been through, her mind was still of a child who lost too much too soon, so it was easy for her to start hoping for better days, a better _life._


	2. New City... New Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii :D
> 
> Some people left kudos in the fic so thank you very much \o/
> 
> Obs.: The dialogues in italic will mean they are speaking in Russian. And Nat's errors in English are intencional because she doesn't know the language very well yet ^^' 
> 
> I hope you enjoy the chapter ;)

 

When the hot wind touched her skin, Natalia was relived for following her aunt’s advice to wear something light, she wasn’t used to so much heat; the summer days in Russia didn’t compared to that weather at all. Natalia disembarked with the rest of the passengers and walked through the harbor, her small size making it difficult.

Natalia hated be so small sometimes. Like right now when people wouldn’t notice her or pretend she wasn’t there and bump into her without any care. After a few minutes without any sign of someone looking for her Natalia started to get really nervous, she never met her aunt before – nor any other relative for the matter – just saw an old picture her father had of his sister when she was Natalia’s age.

She pretty much had no idea how she would identify the woman and vice versa.

\- Natcheska? – Natalia heard a woman’s voice call and when she turned around she found a beautiful woman looking apprehensively to her.

\- _Yes. –_ she answered in her mother tongue.

She knew she should start to try to speak in English – at least the small amount she learned with her father – but she was too nervous to remember anything she knew.

\- _Thank God, I finally found you. –_ The woman, probably her aunt Irina, said getting closer. – _I was so scared something might happen to you travelling all the way here alone… And I’m so sorry I couldn’t get you myself._

Natalia didn’t said anything just took her time to observe the woman. She wasn’t as tall as most Russian women were, a little bit taller than her mother for sure, but not much; her white skin tone wasn’t as striking as Natalia’s because of a perceptible suntan; and her hair was lighter than her father’s, a little bit more blonde than red.

\- _Well, I’m Irina… Your aunt._ – she said starting to get uncomfortable.

\- _Okay. –_ It was all Natalia thought to say.

\- _Can we go?_ – Irina asked and received a positive nod from the red-haired girl. – _Well… My house… Apartment, actually, isn’t as fancy as I liked it to be and is definitely not on the richest part of New York but it’s very comfy and… Ahn… It’s home, so…_

Irina kept talking while they walked just like she always did anytime she got too nervous about a situation.

_\- That’s okay... I’m used to simple things._

\- _Did Alian taught you English?_ – she asked when they stopped in the sidewalk.

- _Yes, a bit._

_-_ _Great! Then you’ll just need to practice more… I’m sure you’ll be fluent in no time._

Natalia gave her a little smile but she wasn’t so enthusiastic to get rid of her mother tongue and replace it for another. She observed the cars passing by and the people around, until that moment not seeing any drastic differences between Russia and USA. When a yellow car with a sign “taxi” in it stopped in front of them, Natalia looked intrigued to the woman beside her.

_\- What is a taxi?_ – She asked with curiosity while the two entered it. She was certain the right word was in English for that vehicle was ‘car’.

Irina smiled to her but turned to the driver and said the address, then she looked back to Natalia to explain what a taxi was and the girl quickly related it with that same type of transportation back in Russia. She noticed the driver looking weird to them speaking in Russian but preferred to ignore it.

A few minutes later he started to ask things to her aunt who politely answered. Her aunt’s fluent English surprised Natalia and she wondered how long she lived in that country; her Russian ascent was almost imperceptible. She decided to ask her sometime soon but for now she decided to look through the window to her surroundings.

Now that they were finally in the heart of the city, Natalia was able to start identifying the distinctions between the two countries. The buildings, the streets, people looks and behavior; it truly was another world.

\- As soon as possible I’ll bring to a full tour through the city. – Irina said.

Natalia just gave her a nod to show she had understood but didn’t pay much attention, her focus on the huge building they were passing by.

\- That’s the Empire State. – her aunt said noticing to what she was looking. – I can take you there if you want.

\- Really? – Natalia asked looking to the woman in anticipation.

\- Yeah, I work in one of the agencies there, so if you want we can make a tour inside.

\- That’s … Ahn that would be… - Natalia tried to remember the right word to express what she wanted but failed, so decided to say in Russian. – _Great._

Irina smiled to her niece and reached her hand to give the girl’s hand a slight squeeze; Natalia smiled back, she really wanted to try a good relationship with her last living relative so allowed her to hold her hand. The red haired went back to look to the views and it didn’t took long for her to get astonished again when the car started to approach a huge bridge.

\- _This is beautiful_. – Natalia said impressed with the view from the bridge.

With everything she saw so far in that city the view from that bridge was her favorite without a doubt. The way the sunlight touched the water, the other enormous bridge and all the buildings she could see from there. The view gave her such peaceful feeling that for a moment she could think about be happy in her new life.

\- And this is Brooklyn. – Irina said when the taxi drove through the street.

Natalia assumed this was another neighborhood and a very different from the other they had being. The buildings had an older look to them; the people were dressed more simply and their behavior towards one another were different. It remind her a lot of her old neighborhood so now she was sure she would definitely like the place.

The car finally came to a stop and after her aunt payed the guy, they got out of the car. Natalia looked to the building in front of her with a quizzical look trying to figure out what color it was supposed to be. The voice of her aunt drawing her attention to some people in the adjacent building.

\- _People here are very curious._ – Irina said after waving a bye to them. – _But they’re really nice people._

\- How long you live here? – Natalia asked trying her English.

\- Since I arrived in the country. – she answered while opening the door. – Life in Brooklyn is cheaper and better than in Manhattan. And foreigners are more welcomes in here and others neighborhoods than in that part.

\- But papochka say that you and him were of a rich family.

\- Yeah, our family were or is… I don’t know anymore. But they didn’t gave me anything when I decided to leave. – Irina explained nonchalantly. – Alian and I never fit in their ideals that’s why we had to leave.

\- Well… It is good you are not like them. – Natalia smiled honestly.

They walked to the stars in the hall but just had the chance to climb a few steps before a woman appeared smiling to them.

\- Irina, you’re finally back! – She exclaimed walking in their direction. – I was starting to worry.

\- I already know how to handle things around here, Sarah.

\- I know that. But it doesn’t mean I will be less worried about you. – the woman, about 30-40 years Natalia noticed, spotted her and gave a her a huge smile. – Oh, you must Natalia.

\- Yes. – she said a little uncomfortable with how happy the woman was to meet her.

\- I’m Sarah Rogers. – she introduced herself. – It’s great to meet you.

\- It is good to meet you too _, miss_. – Natalia said shaking her hand.

\- You’re shorter than I expected. – she said, Natalia finally noticing a slight accent in her words. – Skinnier too. We will have solve this soon.

\- Don’t mind her. – Irina said with a smile. – She just can’t control her motherly instincts.

\- That I cannot. – the blonde woman smiled and it was such a bright smile it amazed Natalia. – Now go put her things in the apartment and then come to mine. I made chocolate cake.

\- Sarah, I told you it wasn’t necessaire! - Irina looked indignantly to her. – You know I hate to bother you more than I have to.

\- Darling, don’t make me lecture yet again about it. – Sarah said in a very mother tone. – Besides, the cake it’s for Natalia and not for you.

\- For me? – Natalia asked looking wide eyed to her.

\- Yeah. – she blinked an eye to her. - Now go put your things upstairs. I’ll be waiting for you.

\- Like I said, she can’t control herself sometimes. –her aunt said while the both of them observed Sarah walk away.

\- Why she make a cake for me? – she asked wen they started to climb the steps again.

\- I let slip about your birthday, sorry. – Irina looked apologetically. – Since you were still travelling on the date, Sarah thought it would be nice do something for you.

\- Oh! – was all Natalia could say.

She was so lost since the ‘accident’ she even forgot about her own birthday; it had been two birthdays without any kind of celebration. The people of the orphanage didn’t care one bit and Natalia just cared to remember her parents’ birthdays but now a totally stranger was caring enough to make her a cake, she was really touched by the gesture. They stopped in front of a door with the number ‘6’ in it, then Irina opened the door and let Natalia enter.

Natalia made a quick observation of the place, liking the simplicity and coziness of it.

\- Put you bag on the couch. I’ll show you everything later.

Natalia just nodded and let her backpack on the small sofa. The two leaving the apartment and heading downstairs again.

\- Fortunately, Steven knows how to control Sarah most of the time. – her aunt said. – That’s probably why she made just a cake and didn’t surprise us with half the neighborhood in here.

\- Who is _Stepan_? – she asked, absently spelling it in Russian rather than in English.

\- It’s her son. – Irina answered. – He’s only one year older than you are and he’s a great kid. I think you two might get along.

When they stopped in front of another door by the end of the hall, to the right side, Natalia started to get nervous. She wasn’t an antisocial kid but thanks to her time in the orphanage she learned to hate socialization, especially with kids her age. Also she preferred to close herself, keep distance from everyone to avoid go through the same pain of her parents death.

But now that she was in a new place with new people, she would have to change that. She knew she would need to let people in and allow herself to get close to people again, this is what her parents would have wanted to her. So Natalia silently prayed for this Steven person to be really great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry any grammatical mistakes!!' 
> 
> Well, just for you to know, I’m trying my best to stay as truthful as possible with the historical facts. I made extensive researches about this period and about the two countries but since there’s too much details to know sometimes things won’t be very accurate.
> 
> Besides, I need to change/add somethings in order to fit in this story ^^'
> 
> For now, this is it.
> 
> Thank you for reading and I really hope you like it!!'
> 
> XoXo ;)


	3. A feeling of comfort at least

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii \o/
> 
> Thanks for the kudos , it's mean a lot to me *---*
> 
> Here's another chapter and I hope you like it !
> 
> Enjoy ;D

 

Irina knocked on the door with the number 11 and they waited for someone to open it.

\- Come in sweethearts. – Miss Rogers said after she opened the door.

Natalia looked around, noticing Miss Rogers’ living room was very different from her aunt’s; it seemed older but it was still pretty.

\- Hey Steven. – She heard her aunt greet someone and immediately she turned around.

Natalia knew the boy’s appearances should probably shock her but she had saw too many kids like that in the orphanage, herself included. He looked extremely unhealthy and fragile. In his large clothes, he appeared to be skinnier than she was and his pale complex was clearly not natural but it allowed his blue eyes to be more striking than anything else did. His eyes was the first thing to catch her attention.

\- Natalia, this is Steven. Steven, this is Natalia. – Irina introduced them.

\- Hi. – Steve said nervously holding out his hand to her, he didn’t expected someone so pretty like that.

\- Hi. – Natalia greeted with a shy smile.

When she got closer to shake his hand she noticed a fading punch bruise in his left eye and that was shocking because who would dare to punch someone with such fragile appearance? She was even afraid to hold his hand too tight and break it.

\- Well, shall I bring the cake? – Sarah asked looking expectantly to Natalia.

\- I guess… - she answered looking between the two woman.

\- Since you already did it, go ahead. – Irina said making Sarah just roll her eyes before leaving to the kitchen.

Irina went to sit on the couch and Natalia followed her. Steve felt lost for a moment, his lack of social skills worse than ever, but in the end he settled himself in the armchair.

\- How’s summer break so far, Steven? – Irina asked him.

\- Good. – Steve said nonchalantly. – There isn’t much for me to do but is better than going to school every day. 

Natalia noticed him didn’t had the same accent his mother has instead he spoke in a completely American way.

\- I hope you like chocolate. – Sarah said entering the room again with the best looking cake Natalia saw in ages. – We don’t know yet you tastes so I had to guess.

\- Yes I like… Chocolate. – Natalia tried to imitate Sarah’s spelling of the word.

\- Your accent is stronger than Irina’s was when she got here. – Sarah observed.

\- I do not know the language enough. – Natalia explained.

\- Don’t worry you’ll learn it really fast listening to it day and night. – Sarah frowned looking to the cake and then sighed. – I forgot the candles.

\- You already did enough, Sarah. – Irina said.

\- Sure, sure. – She dismissed her. – Should we sing? Do you want us to sing, Natalia?

\- No. – Natalia answered quickly, she had been the main attraction too much in one day.

\- Okay then. Here, cut the first slice of cake. – Sarah gave her a spatula.

Natalia got a hold of the thing and cut the cake the same way her mother used to guide her in cutting her birthday cakes. She swallowed her desire to cry with the memory and put on a straight face when she looked up to them. Sarah smiled to her and started helping Natalia to put the pieces on the plates.

\- Thank you, _Madame_ Rogers. – Natalia thanked her.

\- No need to thank me, darling. We really want you to feel at home here.

With those simple words, Sarah Rogers switched something inside the red-haired girl. Natalia was still feeling nervous about the completely new situation of her life but knowing someone wanted her welfare after years feeling abandoned made a slight comfort start to crawl into her bones.

While they ate, Natalia only observed the two women talking – Steven saying something just a few times – and she wonder about their life. A trait she had inherited from her father was curiosity and the courage to seek answers so she would definitely investigate about them. And of course, about Steven.

She couldn’t shake from her mind the curiosity to know more about the boy. He seem to be so much like her: shy, introvert and observant; but also, she could see there was more about him than meets the eye. Natalia tried not to look too much but every time she dared to look at him, their eyes would meet and she would blush furiously; she was so not used to someone observing like that.

\- Good to know you’re not one of those girls obsessed with not eat enough to not get fat.  Sarah’s comment brought Natalia back from her thoughts. – Because like I said, we will have to work this skinny figure of yours.

\-  Don’t overwhelm her just yet, mom.

\- I am not overwhelming anyone. – Sarah said in a defensive tone.

\- Just a little bit. – Irina remarked sarcastically.

\- So, Natalia… - the blond woman ignored the two of them and direct her attention back to the girl. – We also bought you a present.

\- What? You did? – Natalia and Irina said in unison.

\- It isn’t much, but I think you’ll like it. – She confirmed happily.

\- You did not need to… - Natalia need to pause to remember the word. – Bother with it.

\- Birthday of a person is an important date. – Sarah said seriously. – Besides, I didn’t bother with anything, Steven was the one who bought it.

\- Oh… Really? – She asked looking at him with wide eyes.

\- Ahn… Yeah… - Steve answered blushing furiously and tried not to look at her. – I mean… I saw it the other day and… And… I just thought it would be a… You know, a good present.

\- Why don’t you go get it, honey? – Sarah suggested and Steve sigh in relief.

\- Sure. – he said getting up in a hurry.

\- _God_ , Steven is such a sweet boy. – Irina said when he disappeared from view; he was always surprising her with his actions. – You really raised him well, Sarah.

\- I did my best, for sure, but it’s more about Stevie’s nature than anything else. – She said with a loving smile.

\- Well, he really inherited it from you.

Irina’s comment brought to Natalia’s attention the fact that until that moment there was no mention of Steven’s father – possibly Sarah’s husband – or any pictures of the man in the living room. She wonder why and what had happened to him. But before she could think more about it, Steven was back holding something in his left hand.

\- I hope you like it. – Steve said trying not to stutter as usual and hold out the small package to Natalia.

\- Thank you, _Stepan. –_ She said again slipping his name into the Russian spelling of it.

Natalia was wonderstrucked to open package and find a pretty bracelet in it. It was simple, nothing golden or silvered elegant, the flowers and leafs made with some basic material and to her it was what make the bracelet prettier.

\- _It is beautiful, Stepan. –_ She said absently in Russian; touching the bracelet with care.

\- She liked it. – Irina said when Sarah e Steve looked to her confused.

\- Oh right… - Natalia looked up realizing her slip. - Yes, I liked it. – She confirmed looking up and smiling to Steve.

\- Good. – He said smiling shyly.

\- Let’s put it then. – Irina picked the bracelet from Natalia’s hand and opened the bracelet clasp. – Give me your arm.

Natalia readily stretched out her arm to Irina. The bracelet fit with easy around Natalia’s right wrist the colors of it contrasting with her paleness.

\- Thank you, _Stepan_. – She thanked him and Steve blushed even more if possible.

\- It was really nice of you to buy something to Natalia. – Irina said with a thankful smile.

\- It’s nothin’. – he said shrugging uncomfortable with the attention.

\- Alright, what about we clean up this mess? – Sarah suggested getting up. – Except you, of course.

\- But I could… - Natalia started but Sarah cut her before she could finish.

\- Absolutely not. You are a guest for now, so stay here and enjoy the privilege.

 - Believe me, there’s no point to try to contradict her. – Irina said getting up too.

Both women and Steven picked up the things from the table and went to the kitchen. Natalia sigh resigned, she didn’t liked to be useless but decided not to fight about it yet. She got up from the couch and started to walk around the living room looking to the place with more attention to tune out the voices coming from the kitchen; she couldn’t understand with clarity what they were talking but preferred not to eavesdrop.

\- Hey. – Steve’s voice startled her and he quickly apologized. – Sorry.

\- It is fine. I was… Ahn… - Natalia frowned incapable to remember the right word.

\- Distracted? – he suggested.

\- Yes. – Natalia smiled timidly. – Sorry. My English is very bad.

\- No problem.

An awkward silence fell upon then and Steve regretted obeying his mother request to make the girl company. He was awful around girls and unknown people in general; a trait he really envied from his friend.

\- Ahn… So… - he started looking at her nervously. – What are thinking of here? I mean not here, here… - he said gesticulating to the room. – You know… The city.

\- It is different. – She answered walking back to the couch. – But a good different I think. The… Hm… The views are pretty.

\- Yeah. There’s some great things in the city. – Steve said with a little nod and went to sit in the armchair again to avoid more awkwardness. – I love the view from the Brooklyn Bridge.

\- _Yes_ , I liked it too! – She said enthusiastically.

\- I can… Take you there if want.

\- Really?

\- Sure.

\- It will be…Amazing? – Natalia frowned in doubt.

\- You know… Hm… I can… I could… You know, help you with… English- Steve tried to offer feeling an idiot for babbling like that. “When are you not and idiot, Rogers?” he thought indignantly with himself.

\- I… - Natalia looked at him surprised; he really was a good person just like his mother. – I will like that very much, _Stepan._

\- Okay… That’s great. – he smiled feeling a little less idiotic.

Another awkward silence fell upon them and Natalia fidget uncomfortably trying to summon courage to ask him about his father. However, before she could do it Sarah and Irina were back from the kitchen.

\- Do you want to get back to the apartment? – Irina asked to her niece. – I’m sure you must be tired from the travel.

Natalia answered with a little nod and got up from the couch.

\- Spending so much days in a ship is really hard. – Sarah commented with her own bad memories from such travel.

\- Yes, it is. – she affirmed, even more curious to know from where the blonde woman was.

\- Thank you so much, Sarah. – Irina said giving the older woman a tight hug.

\- You’re always welcome, darling. – She said hugging her back.

While Irina went to give Steve hug too, Sarah pulled Natalia to her arms in a loving embrace.

\- Welcome to the family, sweetheart. – she whispered to the girl.

Natalia almost started to cry right there but was able to swallow it in time, giving a thankful smile to Sarah. Before the two Russian could left the apartment, Natalia turned her head to smile at Steve who was beside his mother and also gave them a small wave; she was finally feeling more light after years with so many horrible feelings constantly inside her.

While the two of them made their way back to the apartment, Natalia felt comfortable for the first time in two years. She had her doubts about liking that city and its people but after such reception she was sure she could like it and even adapt to her new life; maybe those three people would be able to bring back some happiness to her. Maybe she could tune out all the terrible things she lived and remember only the good ones, and let herself be happy again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at Steve being a cute lil' thing since always *--*
> 
> And I know this beggning it's freaking slow but it's necessary to Natalia's developtment in the story.
> 
> I assure you it will gets better and some action soon enough :D
> 
> Any opinions is accepted o/
> 
> And of course sorry the grammar mistakes and lack of a better vocabulary , I swear I'm doing my best ^^'
> 
> 'Till next time !
> 
> XoXo ;)


	4. Promises

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo o/
> 
> Sorry it took me so long to update !! College is making my life crazy
> 
> I just had time to finish this translation so I don't know how long I'll take to publish the next chapter :(
> 
> But anyway... Just to remind you: the sentences in italic are to indicate russian and now the ones underlined are to indicate irish gaelic.
> 
> Enjoy the chapter :D

 

Irina opened the door of the apartment and let Natalia enter first. The redhead looked again around the living room feeling a little nauseous; that place would be her new home without her parents and far away from her homeland, everything in her life was so tragic.

\- _Are you alright, honey?_ – Irina asked resting a hand on the girl’s shoulder.

\- Uh… Yes, sure. – Natalia lied. – _Can I see the rest of the place_?

\- Of course! – Irina said enthusiastically. – Come.

Irina led the way to the kitchen and gave Natalia space to observe everything freely; she had noticed that the girl was as much observant about her surroundings as her father.

_\- Its nice. –_ Natalia commented with a small smile.

\- Wait until you see your bedroom. – She winked to her. – The bathroom it’s this way. The apartment is small so there is only one bathroom but I think we can manage that just fine.

Natalia nodded in agreement, she was more than used to share a bathroom with other people; at least her aunt bathroom had a better appearance.

\- This is my room. – Irina said indicating to the first door in the small corridor the she pointed to the door next to it. – And that one is yours.

Natalia walked to that door and opened it carefully, peeking inside before entering. The room was bigger and more spacious than she expected, and she was surprised with so many furniture in it. After two years sharing a room with only two beds and a small wardrobe, the three chairs, a bed and bigger wardrobe in that room was so much more to her.

\- _I used it like a storeroom. Put all kinds of old things in here... So it was a real battle to clean it up._

\- _It looks great now._ – Natalia said sincerely while touching the sheets of the bed. – _You did an amazing job. Thank you._

- _Oh, don’t thank me, I almost didn’t do anything_ … _This was all a friend of mine doings._

_\- None of you should have bothered so much with making me… All this._

_\- Don’t worry, honey._ – Irina said dismissingly. – _She wanted to redecorate the whole apartment for a while. Your arrival and need of a bedroom was just the perfect excuse for her to do it._

_\- Oh… Well, tell her I really liked it. –_ Natalia asked but didn’t looked in her direction.

Irina stayed silent observing the girl; the way she wasn’t looking at her and her body language gave Irina certainty Natalia wasn’t as fine as she tried to seem. She approached the girl and touched her shoulder to get her attention; when Natalia looked up to her with tears in her eyes, Irina finally lost it.

Since Irina discovered about her brother’s death she hasn’t cried yet, always busy with a thing or another and always thinking about being strong for the girl she would have to take care of. But now, seeing that much pain and sadness on that innocent girl’s eyes – her _niece_ eyes – because of the hideous way she had to watch her parents die, Irina couldn’t hold her own pain and sadness any longer.

She sat beside Natalia on the bed and hugged her as tight as possible, the two of them breaking in tears. Crying for the same loss and feeling the same pain. Aunt and niece spent some minutes crying while holding on to each other in a tight embrace, and Natalia was so grateful to finally have someone to lean on that at some point she was also crying for that.

\- Natalia, I know we just met know and that I cannot undone what happened. – Irina whispered caressing her niece red curls. – But I promise I’ll try my best to make you happy.

 

**

Steve frowned at the draw in front of him, getting closer to look better and make sure he was doing all the details right so far. When Steve didn’t saw any mistakes or inaccuracy, he started again to draw the portrait of Natalia; he felt a little bit guilty for drawing her without her consent but he really needed to make a draw of her.

\- Steven honey, I’m leaving for the hospital. – Sarah said in her mother tongue, stopping by the door of his bedroom.

\- Already? But what time is it? – He asked looking at her confused and discreetly covering his sketchbook; Steve gaelic has a heavy accent since the he wasn’t enough exposed to the tongue.  

\- I am going to enter a few hours earlier so I can take the Sunday off. 

\- Oh okay. – Steve nodded and gave her a smiled. – Be safe then.

\- I’ll sweetie. Any problem around here you call the hospital, okay?

\- Yeah, sure

\- Be careful, Steven. – Sarah asked going to where he was and kissing his forehead. – I love you.

\- Love you too, mom.

They smiled affectionately to each other, then Sarah messed Steve’s hair a little and walked out of his room. Steve turned in his chair and removed the paper that was covering his sketchbook so he could resume to his drawing; just now noticing he wouldn’t be able to paint Natalia’s eyes and hair with color. He rolled his eyes, thanks to his shyness he had avoid to stare at the girl and now didn’t remember her eyes and hair color very well.

Steve wasn’t entirely color blind but he was enough to have to pay extremely attention to things with certain colors to be able to distinguish and assimilate those colors. He couldn’t say for sure if Natalia’s eyes were really green and he definitely wasn’t sure of her hair color. He sighed and hold the black pencil tighter, drawing the curve of her chin a little too hard; Steve got always frustrated when his ill conditions would restrain him of doing things he liked or wanted to do.

At least he was 100 percent sure about the freckles in her face because that was a detail way too beautiful about her for him not to memorize by heart, bad eyesight or not.

\- Hey punk. – A black haired boy entered Steve’s room startling him.

\- Bucky! – Steve exclaimed looking at the boy irritated. – How many times do I have to tell you not to surprise me like this?

\- Well, I knocked at the door and call you like five times and you didn’t say a thing. – Bucky said with a shrug.

\- I was distracted.

\- Drawing some unknown chick. - He commented getting closer to Steve’s desk to pick up the sketchbook.

\- What are you doing here anyway? – Steve asked putting the sketchbook away before Buck could get a hold of it.

\- I was dying of boredom at home so decided to come disturb you. - Buck smiled leaning against the desk.

\- Ma asked you to check up on me again, didn’t she?

\- The night is getting colder. We know how you get in nights like this. – he said not one bit embarrassed to have being caught in his lie.

\- I’m perfectly fine. – Steve dismissed the worry look on Bucky’s face by rolling his eyes. – Besides it’s time for me to take care of myself alone.

\- Except you don’t have to do it. – Bucky gave a light push on the blonde shoulder. – My life’s purpose is to keep you alive long enough for you to kiss someone who isn’t your mother… And on the lips, with tongue and everything, you know that punk.

\- I’ve more important things to do, thank you very much. – The blonde looked back to the draw and absently corrected Natalia’s left eyebrow.

\- Like draw the unknown girl, yeah I can see that. – Buck used Steve’s distraction and snatched the sketchbook from him.

\- Hey give it back! – Steve exclaimed standing up.

\- Nope.

\- Bucky. – He said looking seriously at his friend.

Steve loved his best friend since day one but sometimes Bucky was too much annoying that Steve wished he had the health and strength to punch that grin out of Bucky’s face.

\- Who is she? – Buck asked still analyzing the portrait and trying to remember if he ever saw the girl.

\- Irina’s niece. She’s just got here from USSR.

\- Irina has a niece? Since when?

\- Do you really don’t pay any attention to what I tell you?

\- Most of the time no, I don’t. – Buck smirked to his friend and holding out the sketchbook in his direction.

\- Jerk. – Steve picked his sketchbook harshly, closing it and putting on the desk.

\- So what’s her story? – he asked laying down on Steve’s bed.

\- I already told you. If you didn’t listen that’s your problem.

\- Come on, Stevie. She’s so pretty, I need to know about her.

\- She’s not the kind of girl for you, Buck. – Steve said opening his wardrobe to get

\- Why not? Are you interested in her?

\- No, I’m not. I’m just saying this because she doesn’t seem to be like these girls you find God knows where.

\- I still think you interested in her. – he said just to annoy the blonde more. – Anyway, you still didn’t told me why she moved.

\- Ma didn’t told much. Just that she’s orphan and Irina is her last relative.

\- Oh… That’s… That’s awful.

\- Yeah. – Steve agreed and sat again on his chair. – So like I said she’s probably not like the other girls you mess around with.

\- Yes, Steven, you can keep her I promise not to try anything funny with her.

Steve chucked and rolled his eyes, it was really hard to stay irritated with Bucky Barnes. Buck throw a pillow at Steve just because which made the blonde call him a not very nice name and then the both laughed; they fell into a light conversation to spend the time. When Steve started to sneeze and cough, they went to the kitchen and Bucky heated a soup for the blonde and then almost forced him to take his medications. Just like any other night they would spent together while Steve’s mom was working.

The boys knew each other since forever and considered themselves more than best friends, but brothers. They were always looking after each other, leaning on each other when life got too hard and being there for whatever the other needed; even though they were too much unlike each other. Their friendship was simply unbreakable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo I hope you guys liked it o/
> 
> Kudos and comments are welcome !
> 
> Also, sorry the bad quality of Chris&Seb pictures :/ And sorry any grammar errors !!
> 
> Thank you for reading !
> 
> XoXo ;)

**Author's Note:**

> First off, sorry for all the grammatical mistakes and possible lack of coherence :/
> 
> Unfortunately English isn’t my first language so I tried my best to translate this story as best as possible.
> 
> I don't know yet how the updating will work. Translation is a complicated process but I will try my best not to take too long in case anyone likes it and want the continuation :D
> 
> Anyway... I hope you guys liked it!
> 
> XoXo ;)


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